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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584350">I DON'T LIKE DARKNESS</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ffsfoster'>ffsfoster (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Gay, M/M, Reddie, Reddie Fairytales (IT), Sad with a Happy Ending, based on a chase atlantic song, chase atlantic - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:40:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ffsfoster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>LYRIC FIC!! or.. song fic? im not sure what they're called but i love them. Here's I DONT LIKE DARKNESS by Chase Atlantic as a Reddie fic.<br/>-----<br/>TW:<br/>abusive relationships, drug use, drinking, self harm, suicide attempt, homophobic slurs/homophobia, &amp; possibly more. Make sure to practice self love before, during and after reading &lt;3</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak &amp; Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Lyrical story idea's, Song Based Collections, Song Based FanFiction</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I DON'T LIKE DARKNESS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>song lyrics in bold and italics are Eddie singing<br/>song lyrics in bold only are Richie singing</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>"Dan, baby?"</p><p> </p><p>"What do you want, Richie?" Richie winced at his boyfriend's harsh tone, slightly lifted his head from his lap to talk to him but laid back down again after realizing he was far too invested in his screen to look at the dark-haired boy laying in his lap.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh, what- Do you wanna watch a movie?" He closed his eyes, wishing he'd say yes. It's been a while since they did anything together.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm busy," Of course he was. He's always busy on his phone.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh yeah? With what?" Richie decided to be brave, he'd had enough of Daniel's bullshit, "What's so important on your phone that you don’t even talk to me anymore?"</p><p> </p><p>Daniel lifted his eyes from his phone and averted his attention to the boy who was now sitting up with an angry look on his face. Richie was almost scared at the expression he received back from his boyfriend. It wasn’t anger or sadness, not even sorrow, it was just… blank.</p><p>He looked like you just told him that one of the children on a kid’s beauty pageant just got eliminated.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t care.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck, Daniel?” Richie got up, he was so goddamn angry.</p><p> </p><p>”Don’t start shit right now, Tozier, I’m tired of your crap,” He rolled his eyes and lazily walked to the refrigerator in their dorm room, ignoring his boyfriend who was only getting angrier and more frustrated.</p><p> </p><p>”Start what, huh? START WHAT?” He was furious, he tried everything with him; making out with him, talking to him, going out on dates, watching movies together. Nothing works.</p><p>“I sit here all fucking day on the weekends waiting for you to come home so we can do something together and you’re never fucking home, where the fuck do you go? You don’t even text or- or call, YOU JUST LEAVE AND LEAVE AND LEAVE”</p><p> </p><p>”Yeah, and I’ll fucking do it again” He spat out.</p><p> </p><p>”What?” His voice came out in a hushed tone, almost like a whisper. He didn’t expect that. He thought Daniel would realize how much he’s hurting Richie and he’d stay and they’d work it out. “Babe, wait, Dan! Daniel! WAIT WAIT!” </p><p> </p><p>Richie chases after his boyfriend, following him around the small dorm room they shared as he got his coat and keys and got ready to leave, “Daniel, please, don’t go. I-I’m sorry. Dan?”</p><p> </p><p>”I’m fucking leaving, Tozier,” He snapped as he opened the door to the dorm. “And don’t expect to see me in the morning.”</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s shoulders slumped as he heard the door slam behind the taller boy. It was supposed to work this time, it was supposed to heal their relationship. They were supposed to be happy. He couldn’t let this happen, he couldn’t just watch Daniel leave again. What if this was the last chance he had to fix things?</p><p> </p><p>He ran to his bedroom and looked for his phone, flipped over bedsheets and looked under vinyl records and books and eventually found it on his desk… the first place he looked. </p><p> </p><p>He sighed and quickly clicked on Daniel’s contact number on his phone. </p><p>
  <em> Maybe he calmed down now? It’s been about 10 or 15 minutes, maybe we can laugh about it now. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It rings once, then twice, then-</p><p>”Hello? Who’s this?” A woman’s voice, around their age. She was chewing gum and sounded very annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello? Hello! Uh, this is Rich- Richie Tozier? And you?” He feared that the lady would be able to tell he was crying.</p><p> </p><p>“This is Bella? Daniel’s girlfriend. He can’t come to the phone right now, so either call him after an hour or so or just fuck off, yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Girlfriend?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Girlfriend. What’re you, a fag? Leave my Danny alone. Understood?” Richie almost puked. How long has he been cheating on him? And why was he cheating on him with a ditzy homophobic bitch?</p><p>Before Richie opened his mouth to respond, Bella had already hung up.</p><p> </p><p>Just then he realized something, Bella had asked him who he was… Daniel didn’t have Richie’s contact saved in his phone. He was just another unnamed number on his call log. And in came the tears he knew were inevitable.</p><p> </p><p>Richie shook as he sobbed into his palms. He lifted his head and he caught his reflection in a mirror that hung on the wall. He saw his tear-stained cheeks and how red his face had gotten. He saw the utter sadness in his eyes and how his face looked worn out like it had endured many hardships and still can’t catch a break. He saw the under-eye bags that carved themselves so deep in his face from long nights of waiting for Daniel to come home to no avail.</p><p> </p><p>He stumbled to his room and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from his nightstand and takes a swig from it while he continued to search his room for his weed. He rolled a blunt and put it between his teeth as he tried to stabilize his hands to light it. </p><p> </p><p>Most of the bottle and 2 blunts later, Richie sat on his and Daniel’s bathroom floor. His long limbs were sprawled out on the cold tiles, he had already slid off his hoodie and tossed it somewhere in the living room before he walked - more like aggressively stumbled - into the bathroom.</p><p>He slid off his glasses and put them on the bathroom counter and fumbled through the cabinets under the sink while making a mess. Finally, his eyes landed on a little black box. It was a box he used to store his extra pair of glasses he had in high school, you know, for emergencies - like breaking your first pair by getting punched in the face by one of those fuckers from the Bower’s gang. But he’d already lost that pair, so instead, he stored his razors in there, also for emergencies. He opened it as more sobs escaped his lips and his shaking fingers picked up a single shining razor, music spilled from his speakers as they played his latest playlist on shuffle.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, just across the hallway from Richie and Daniel’s ground floor dorm room, Eddie had awakened from his sleep and noticed that his roommate was still awake watching T.V.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Bev,” He said through a yawn as he walked over to her sitting on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie! Didn’t know you were awake, what’s up bud?” She was his middle school best friend and one can’t imagine the trouble they went through to go to the same college AND live in the same dorm.</p><p> </p><p>“I just uh- I heard a- a bunch of ruckuses and it kind of woke me up?” He said, almost as a question, his head tilted to the side looking at Beverly’s face for answers.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, that… I think it came from across the hallway. I heard it too,” She said in a soft tone. She was so compassionate, Eddie could already tell she was worried about whoever was across that hallway. “I think I heard yelling, but I'm not sure.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, me too,” Eddie confirmed her suspicions, which only made the red-head more nervous, nonetheless she plastered on a big smile and patted the seat next to her, motioning for Eddie to watch with her.</p><p> </p><p>He shrugged and walked over to her and sat next to her, taking the popcorn bowl from her lap and putting it in his as he took a handful of popcorn he remembered Richie.</p><p> </p><p>They met at the library about a month or two ago, Eddie saw him a couple of times around campus and was a bit shocked to find out he lived in the same dorm complex and the same floor as him. They chatted for the whole evening and decided to grab a coffee the next morning on their way to class since they both had 8 am classes the next day. They weren’t best friends or anything but Eddie sure did think Richie was cute.</p><p>
  <em> Welp, he has a boyfriend so no way is that ever gonna happen.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes Eddie would notice Richie was odd, he never talked about his boyfriend - which wouldn’t be as odd if they weren’t dormmates too. Sometimes Eddie would ask Richie about him but Richie’s smile would always fade and his electric eyes would turn dull. His once nonchalant posture would be replaced with slumped shoulders as he would look down at his sneakers like a child who did something wrong.</p><p>All Eddie got from Richie about his boyfriend was that his name was Daniel and that they lived together across the hallway from Eddie and Bev. Eddie also knew that Daniel couldn’t have been a good boyfriend to Richie, he never told Eddie this but Eddie knew. He knew well enough.</p><p> </p><p>“Eddie? Yoohoo! Ya listening?” Bev laughed as she waved her hand in front of Eddie’s face snapping him out of his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Oh- Uhm… no?” He looked guilty and Bev couldn’t help but chuckle at the boy. He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a sheepish apology.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t sweat it, hun,” She flashed a smile at him which instantly made him feel better. “So, you gonna answer that?” She said, pointing at Eddie’s phone vibrating on the coffee table. He hadn't even realized it was ringing.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! Yeah yeah, I’m just gonna take this real quick,” He said as he picked his phone up and answered the phone without checking the Caller ID and mouthed a small ‘Sorry!’ to his best friend who just waved him off and laughed as she turned back to the T.V.</p><p> </p><p>“Hiya, Eddie here,” Eddie spoke as he walked through the small college apartment and closed the door behind him after walking into his room. “Who am I speaking to?” Eddie’s father always taught him to be polite on the phone. He smiled at the thought of his dad waiting at home every holiday with baked goods and balloons.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds,”</p><p> </p><p>“Richie?” Eddie was almost shocked to hear the boy’s croaky voice at this time at night, “It’s 3 in the morning, Rich. Is everything okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“How- Howarya doin' Eddie-boy?” Richie’s voice was visibly shaken as he trembled with a cigarette in his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Rich. Is everything okay?” Eddie repeated with a sterner voice now as he only grew more worried about his good friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Mm-hmm,” Eddie heard the music from Richie’s end of the line play and something in him just <em> clicked </em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie, were those yelling noises coming from your dorm?” Eddie shut his eyes tightly praying to every god he knew and wishing on every star he saw that the boy on the other line would say no. He waited for an answer but all h received was shaky breaths and he knew the answer to his question.</p><p>“Is Daniel home?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m coming over.”</p><p> </p><p>He quickly grabbed his shoes and phone and walked out of his room, Beverly turned around and watched the smaller boy get his fanny packs with a confused look on her face.</p><p>“Eddie? What- Where are you going?”</p><p> </p><p>“A friends,” He replied without stopping once. He was quick and he knew that something bad had happened to Richie.</p><p> </p><p>“A friend's? Now? Who?” She slowly got up from the couch and walked towards him.</p><p> </p><p>He finally stopped, met eyes with her and spoke. “I’m going to Richie’s.”</p><p>Somehow, Beverly knew. She knew not to question him more. She just nodded and watched him walk out and march across the hallway. He took a quick breath and knocked on the door. Beverly was still watching him as he got no answer, then he knocked again and still there was no answer. Eddie started to fear the worst so he grabbed the doorknob and, with shaking hands, turned it.</p><p> </p><p>The door opened and he walked in and closed the door behind him. Beverly went back to her dorm and decided to get some shut-eye. The door led to the boys’ living room which had an open kitchen with a counter and he saw a small hallway with three doors. The layout of their dorm was like his so it wasn’t too much work to find his way around.</p><p>He walked around the dimly lit living room as he called out his friend’s name. He saw empty alcohol bottles and cigarette packs scattered across the floor. The fridge door was opened and Eddie automatically closed it. He didn’t want Richie to be cold. He cringed at the number of drugs, cigarettes and liquor there was everywhere. The house looked a mess. He walked into the first room quicker now as he remembered that Richie needed him. There was a bed but it didn’t look slept in. There was a desk with lots of books on it. He immediately recognized this as Richies’s room from the library and the extensive book collection he had. His books were stacked in piles on the floor and so were his vinyls. He walked to the other room, Daniel’s room and it looked normal. It looked like any normal room. No collections, no posters, nothing. </p><p>It’s almost as though Daniel doesn’t even live here.</p><p> </p><p>Eddie’s heart dropped as he realized that Richie wasn’t in the living room, nor was he in the kitchen or either of the rooms. He was in the bathroom. He raced to the bathroom and flung the door open, calling his name. And then he saw him.</p><p> </p><p>“RICHIE!” He fell to the ground quickly bringing himself close to the taller boy on the bathroom floor as he saw the bloodshed that is this boy’s life. Blood covered his forearms and wrists and a single bloody razor was placed next to Richie's bleeding body.</p><p> </p><p>“Eds! Man, you made it!” Richie chuckled drunkenly. He waved his right hand around as he talked, Eddie scrunched his nose at the strong stench of smoke and snatched the cigarette from Richie’s hand and put it away before beginning to pull bandages, disinfectants and such out of his fanny pack.</p><p> </p><p>“Richie… what- what happened?” Eddie’s tone softened as he realized that these cuts were self-inflicted. And he almost let out a small gasp when he wiped away some of the blood to see many scars much like the ones that would be appearing on his skin from these cuts. <em> How long has he been cutting? And why? </em></p><p> </p><p>His eyes looked sad and droopy as he looked into Richie’s eyes for an answer but all he was met with were dilated pupils and bloodshot eyes that looked like they were filled with all the world’s sorrow yet empty at the same time. Eddie’s hands trembled, he had never seen such a beautiful boy do such a gruesome thing to his self.</p><p> </p><p>Richie let Eddie patch him up and took a few seconds to reply to his question, “I tried to kill myself, Eddie, <strong> that’s  </strong>what happened.”</p><p> </p><p>His cheerful drunk chuckle was now completely gone and was replaced by a cold, dead and completely sober voice that spoke blunt and harsh words, only Richie was nowhere near sober and that was clear to Eddie.</p><p>Eddie’s eyes started watering. He didn’t know what to do, what to say, what to ask.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why would you do this to yourself? Who made you do it? How did you manage to do this to yourself? How could you? Why didn’t you tell me? Is it Daniel? Does he make you feel this way? W- </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Eddie had cleaned and wrapped up all of Richie’s cuts and was now sitting between his long gangly legs as they both sat on the bathroom floor still. He had so many thoughts going through his head, so many questions he wanted to ask but only one word comes out. <em> Why? </em></p><p> </p><p>“W-Why?” Richie was almost confused at the question, “Why… what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Why did you do this to yourself, Richie? Why didn’t you tell me before? WHY DO YOU FEEL LIKE THE ONLY OPTION LEFT IS TO HARM YOURSELF?!” Eddie’s hand flew to his mouth, completely shocked at what he had just said. Eddie was crying but Richie's face was completely dry which only confused Eddie more.</p><p> </p><p>“I- I don’t- Eds…” Richie was - believe it or not - speechless. He sighed and rubbed his eyes from under his glasses as he tried to form the right words to speak, “I’m not very good with words, Eds, I don’t know what to tell you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is there any other way?”</p><p> </p><p>“Other way?”</p><p> </p><p>“Is there any other form of communication you find easier than speaking?” Eddie looked as hopeful as he could look in a moment like this, he just wanted to understand him. He felt so helpless but then the boy in front of him reach for his phone. He couldn’t help but look a little confused as Richie opened his Spotify app and switched the song that was already playing to another one.</p><p> </p><p>“Music. I know how cliche this sounds, trust me but just- just stay with me here okay?” Eddie quickly nodded his head, he was glad that Richie thought of a way to communicate with him. Eddie always thought that communication and comprehension are key things in friendships and relationships with anyone.</p><p> </p><p>The music spilled out of the house speakers that were connected to Richie’s phone.</p><p> </p><p>Richie laid his head on the bathroom floor and Eddie followed his lead. Richie’s head was facing the sink and Eddie’s was facing the bathtub on the other end of the small college dorm bathroom. Richie took off his glasses and laid there with Eddie looking at the ceiling of the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> “Hard to stay awake, I'm so exhausted. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Hard to keep a friend, I guess I'm cautious. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Hide the pain inside, I don't endorse it,” </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s raspy voice sung the lyrics and Eddie immediately recognized the song.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em> “I can’t even cry, I guess I force it.” </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie sang while Richie, on the other hand, kept quiet, only to get a smile from the boy who - before this encounter - wasn’t aware that Eddie liked Chase Atlantic. Eddie let Richie sing the parts of the song he resonates most with and he did the same.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> “Funny when my head caved in, I thought I'd lost it. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Might have had a date with death, I guess I dodged it. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> I don't want to feel this pain, I don't like distance.” </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie specifically chose this song because he resonated with it. He sang the words he felt, and the lyrics fit almost perfectly with the situation he was in. He began to cry again. Thoughts of Daniel ran his mind and how stupid Richie was for falling for him. </p><p>He cried because he almost didn’t want Eddie to find him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em> “I don't wanna leave this place if you're not with us.” </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie turned his head and looked at Richie who was still staring at the ceiling. A single tear rolled off the side of his face.</p><p>Eddie continued while still staring intently at the boy, he meant every word.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em> “Please don't leave this house, I don't like darkness. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em> I don't wanna see you out, I don't like darkness. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em> Hate it when I close my eyes, I don't like darkness. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em> I don't wanna go outside, I don't like darkness.” </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie turned his head back to face the ceiling as he sang.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> “Darkness to the light, I'll be forever gracious. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Grey in your eyes, your soul must be silver plated. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Though we don't talk, I'll miss our conversations. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> I fall apart, you fill-up the empty spaces.” </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie now turned to Eddie who turned as well, as he sang the lyrics. Richie cracked a small sad smile while looking into Eddie’s eyes, finding it a bit of a quirk of fate that Eddie did actually have grey in his eyes. Eddie noticed Richie’s eyes momentarily dart to his lips but then Richie turned back to the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> “Funny, now the rain comes down, I sit and watch it. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Every time I hear that sound, I get nostalgic. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> I don't wanna feel this pain, I don't like distance.” </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie’s eye’s fog over as the memories and negative thoughts attacked. He felt every word he sang, he felt every rhythm and every beat.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em> “Even if you leave this place, your spirit's with us.” </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie noticed Eddie staring at him while he sang but he didn’t turn to face the smaller boy. He feared he’d meet his eyes again and mess everything up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em> “Please don't leave this house, I don't like darkness. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em> I don't wanna see you out, I don't like darkness. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em> Hate it when I close my eyes, I don't like darkness. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em> I don't wanna go outside, I don't like darkness.” </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie never understood what the singer meant by this verse but the second he walked into this bathroom, he knew. He understood. Eddie understood the symbolism and he felt his heart ache with every beat at the mere thought of Richie leaving him on this hellhole we call Earth… alone. </p><p>Eddie felt as though maybe Richie felt alone too. But he wasn’t. When he sang these words, he opened up to Richie about his ‘silly’ fear of the dark. He always felt scared of anything too dark until he met Richie. Richie made even pitch nothingness look beautiful to Eddie. Richie helped Eddie see the beauty in darkness.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em> “I don't want to leave this place if you're not with us.” </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie broke. Something in the way Eddie’s voice almost pleaded with Richie to stay. To live. Even if it was just a song lyric, Richie heard the desperation in Eddie’s voice and let everything out. His tears ran down his face and he let out small whimpers which only broke Eddie’s heart. Eddie sat up to look at Richie which made him do the same.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> “Darkness to the light, I'll be forever gracious.” </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie made Richie face him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> “Grey in your eyes, your soul must be silver-plated.” </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie got closer to Richie and wiped the tears off of the other boy’s face and let a few tears of his own slip by that Richie caught with his thumb.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> “Though we don't talk, I'll miss our conversations.” </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Eddie rested his hand on Richie’s chest as he felt Richie slightly pull him in a little closer.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> “I fall apart, you fill-up the empty spaces.” </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie felt Eddie. Closer than they’ve ever been before. A slight magnetic tug was present between the two boys’ faces before they met lips to confirm both Eddie’s and Richie’s feelings. Eddie looked up at Richie with teary eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em> “I don't want to leave this place if you're not with us.” </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Richie embraced Eddie in the tightest hug either of them had been in. And they stayed like that for the rest of the night, cuddled up next to each other and crying the night away.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes, all it takes is a song to put into words feelings that have buried themselves so deep in your soul. And sometimes, all you need is someone there to admire the feelings and thoughts scattered on the floor of your shitty college dorm bathroom that you used to share with your even shittier cheater ex-boyfriend.</p>
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